I am so sick of everyone's expectations for me. Change my way of thinking, Jessica. Prove it, Jessica. Come on, now. Are you a good girl or aren't you? Are you going to handle SPASH or aren't you? Jessica, why do you disappoint me like this? I thought you were different. DAMN. Didn't I tell you I was a pedestal jumper? Didn't I tell you not to have that high an opinion of me? Didn't I tell you I disappoint everyone? Didn't I tell you not to think that way about me? So who's fault is it? Mine, because I'm not who you thought I was, or yours--because you misjudged me in the first place? It seems the whole world has decided to place all of their expectations in me--my mom, my church, my friends, my old school, the kids I babysit, and EVERYONE. Can't I just be me? Can't I just be a normal human being? Can't I just live without everyone breathing down my back? I'm going back to living in my shell. It's closing. Hiding was so much easier than this.
Quote from same crazy guy I email: "I was unaware that there were multiple versions of Christianity." I laughed, I cried, it moved me.
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